Friday, December 5, 2008

Wanna Hear a Funny Joke?

Q: How many "Crazy Mom's of 4 Boys" does it take to screw in a light bulb? umm I mean......to remember to check her three year olds pajama pants for a Pull-Up before putting them in the washing machine?

A: Apparently more than one, since I've done it TWICE this week! YUCK!


I just have to say that I am an AWFUL Laundstress (good word huh!--a cross between laundry and mistress.....sexy and dirty at the same time...ugh...but maybe not in a good way).
**Fair Warning: I am not sure "Laundstress" would stand up to a Scrabble or Banana-Grams challenge in case you were planning on trying it.)


ANYWAY,

For starters, I commit the mortal sin of throwing laundry of all colors and types in the washer at the same time and just setting the washer to NORMAL with WARM water. I do all this with TOTAL disregard for what the clothing label says.
WOW! I feel a lot better getting that off my chest...Cover your eyes Mom...It gets worse.....

I do on occasion use my Delicates cycle when I remember, but it's not a regular activity. Actually it's usually an accident when it happens...I mistakenly turn the dial one more notch and it magically becomes"delicate" laundry....wish that were true with humans too!

No matter the color of my sheets, I wash them ALL in the hottest water possible with extra Clorox bleach. I have ended up with some pretty unique sheet colors through the years. I'm not trying to start a new trend here girls, I promise! I do have to say that this laundry faux pas is not entirely my fault....If you have ever seen Oprah's show about what is lurking in your pillows, bed mattresses and bed sheets you would have weird colored sheets too.....I'm talking microscopic pictures of bed bugs my friends---millions of them.
Hey, but at least now I can say I have two things to blame Oprah for......ugly bed sheets and Obama!

I regularly wash pull ups and diapers....It is oddly entertaining chasing around diaper innards inside your washing machine. The kicker is Nathan probably doesn't even NEED the Pull-Up....he is fully potty trained during the day, but I have NO desire to find out if he is fully trained during the night. (laundry is bad enough during the day--wouldn't you agree?)

I pretty much dry everything no matter what...I have lost a couple things to "shrinkage" lately. (ahem... I know what you are thinking..... and this shrinkage has nothing to do with Thanksgiving.)


Upon removing laundry from the dryer, it usually goes into a wrinkled up pile on the floor until I have time to fold it...sometimes I even throw it back in the dryer to "iron" it....

I could go on and on, but I will spare you any more wasted time.... because I am sure you all have better things to do....


LIKE LAUNDRY...... ☺

So my thinking is, "Wouldn't someone this horrible at their job normally be fired?"

Come on Boss.....bring on the unemployment benefits!

20 comments:

Maggie said...

LOL Yeah, I'm a freak about washing my sheets in the hottest of hot water and bleach. I found out I'm allergic to bed bugs (who's not, right?!) but apparently, it's not the actual bugs that people are allergic to, it's their poo. So not a picture I want in MY mind. I don't even want to know how many bugs are or have been in our bed over the years. That is so disgusting!! =S

LOL You washed a diaper.... TWICE!!!!! Ahahahaha!!!! LOL

Mel said...

you are too funny!
My least favorite household chore has got to be dishes. I like to cook but cleaning up after is like punishment. I am the worst at loading the dishwasher, I must have a brain that is spatial relations challenged because I have the hardest time arranging and fitting everything.
When does the live in maid show up?

He And Me + 3 said...

That is funny. I do the same thing...minus the pullups. We are done with those. Thank goodness. I am forever discovering ruined clothes do to my lack of enthusiasm for doing laundry. Gotta love those grease marks from chapstick left in pants. UGh. so many times.

Kingdom Mama said...

Oh my gosh, this is SOOO funny!! And if it was Monday, I would say that I do not do any (or all) of the things you mentioned! LOL.

heidi said...

LOL I washed breast pads this week. What a stinkin mess!

steffenboysmom said...

What a hoot girl! If only...

I have washed some pretty stupid things in my day too with 6 boys. You never know what sort of "interesting" things they leave in their pockets! Kleenex's are a nightmare, but the worst thing I ever washed was a crayon that made it to the dryer. I'm sorry Crayola, but they're NOT washable!

MoodyMama (a.k.a. Heidi) said...

wow, are you sure you don't have a long lost twin brother? My husband does wash the same way......I was floored when he but bleach in with his jeans....his response? "Well, you do!" Ummm, not really but whatever!

MoodyMama (a.k.a. Heidi) said...

Forgot to tell you, check out CandlesForCauses.blogspot.com, and, how do you do the words with the line through them???

Kimber said...

That is hilarious.

Stephanie said...

Oh my you would drive me crazy doing my laundry :) I am obsessed with sorting colors however I do wash everything in hot water because I want them disinfected! I swear though you had me rolling in the floor on that post! I did once wash a diaper...Caleb threw it in the washing machine without me knowing...lord that was nice!

Following Him said...

I am so guilty of bleaching my nice now spotted towels too. Don't even sort either. Clothes all go together :) How is Prince Charming doing? Just curious...
~Elyse~

Meme said...

Glad to know I'm not the only one! I also like everything bleached and hot. Last week I discoverd silly putty (what a freaking mess) was left in my son's jeans. Always something...Love your new word, by the way!

Mc Allen said...

omgosh, i totally wish I hadnt read this, I am the same way, but oer time I start to relax and feel more at ease, till I see somehting that reminds me again, then I get paniced again, Im sitting here right now feeling itchy, lol!! I do appreaciat that someone else has this disorder, and I see now a few of us do!! Ok, off to wash my sheets;) LA

Jennifer said...

I wash Michaels' pull-ups at least a couple times a month! It STINKS! Such a mess ;(
I need a laundry fairy ;)

Liz said...

Wow, I can totally relate! I think I've washed like 2 diapers, and 1 pull-up accidentally over the past 3 or so years. My husband would fire me from the laundry, except for the fact that he doesn't want to do it himself!
(BTW, I came across your blog, and had to read, because I too live in Oklahoma and have 4 children, never a dull moment at our house!)
Liz

amanda said...

so i've never washed diapers. but i do my wash a lot like you. everything in baby. makes it a bit easier. =O) and i always iron with my dryer. makes it easier that way.

Erin Berard said...

Hey Liz,
Love your blog... stories are too funny... and honestly, I have the hardest time believing that you are not a laundry queen. Aren't you your mother's daughter? Aunt Candy had stuff cleaned, pressed (literally---even t-shirts) and back in the closet before I came home from school that day. I still claim that she is the best logistics officer I have ever met!
~ Erin

Erin Berard said...

Hey Liz,
Love your blog... stories are too funny... and honestly, I have the hardest time believing that you are not a laundry queen. Aren't you your mother's daughter? Aunt Candy had stuff cleaned, pressed (literally---even t-shirts) and back in the closet before I came home from school that day. I still claim that she is the best logistics officer I have ever met!
~ Erin

Tracey said...

Umm I wash so many pull ups it is sad.. Sad my friend! LOL Those things fall apart and they have gel in them. oooo.
I love your thankful comment about Oprah - I hope her wealth gets spread!

Elisha said...

OMG... I just stumbled upon your blog and Im thinking that I need to keep reading:) Your laundry situation sounds IDENTICAL to mine.Other than my middle boy is out of pullups now so I currently dont have problems with washing them!